In her book Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek, Olivia Munn mentioned a relationship with a big shot director. The section includes such romantic gems as a description of Olivia walking in on, “a grown man in an oversized shirt holding his undersized manhood in hands glistening with shrimp fat.” Now Brett Ratner has stepped forward to admit that he’s the director in question, but he’s done it in a way that manages to make him look even worse:

“I used to date Olivia Munn, I’ll be honest with everyone here. But when she was ‘Lisa.’ She wasn’t Asian back then, she was hanging out on my set of ‘After the Sunset,’ I banged her a few times, but I forgot her. Because she changed her name. I didn’t know it was the same person and so when she auditioned for me for a TV show, I forgot her, she got pissed off, and so she made up all these stories about me eating shrimp and masturbating in my trailer. And she talked about my shortcomings.”

Let’s break this down, shall we? So okay, she changed her name — Olivia is actually her middle name. But, “she wasn’t Asian back then”? How, exactly, does one switch-up her race like that? And then there’s the charming use of the term “banged,” which just makes Brett seem insecure. So maybe Olivia made up that story about Brett masturbating with shrimp fat lubricant, but talked about “my shortcomings.” That means he’s admitting the small penis thing is real.

(via Huffington Post)